My Halloween was not a disappointment this year because my expectations were low to begin with. I usually get really excited for Halloween and then get so annoyed with the stupid, stupid costumes. I’m sure you’ve all noticed that Halloween has become an excuse for a certain portion of the population to “skank out”.
“I’m being a cop… a sexy cop.”
“I’m being a fireman… a sexy fireman.”
“I’m being Gilles Duceppe… ok, that one was good.”
But I know you know what I mean. Halloween costumes has become overrun with sluttified occupations and sarcastic jabs at popular culture. Amy Winehouses and Gwen Stefanis galore. What happened to Halloween being scary? I gladly overlooked the zillion Heath Ledger-eqsue Jokers because at least the Joker is villainous. The Halloween parties I’ve been attending for the past few years have beein sorely lacking in classic vampires, ghouls and goblins (not counting the “sexy” vampires, of course. There’s always a few Elviras.)
It certainly wasn’t my first Halloween dressed as my favorite undead character, but this year, I outdid myself; for example, I wore white-colored contacts that made me stumble through a cloudy haze all night. I also wore a flesh-colored bodysuit that was so matted to my chest with fake blood that I had to wear my costume into the shower to peel it off. I. was. SCARY.
People didn’t recognize me, and once they did, they didn’t really want to chat. It actually became annoying. This is the reason, dear readership, that I don’t have a gallery of glossy and photoshopped pictures for you to enjoy. I swear that I didn’t avoid the camera as I usually do, I simply wasn’t approached for photos. In the end, I consider it a testament to the effectiveness of my costume.